I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
