nut hugger
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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