In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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