He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
