I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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