wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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