I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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