She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
