dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
