You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
