he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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