new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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