Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
