The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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