I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
