she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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