Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
