maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
