Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
