Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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