I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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