yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize