I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize