You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
