My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize