dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Watching her eat just hurts me
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
