I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
