maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
COCAINE IS GR8
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize