The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I need water and some morals
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
