Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Randomize
