dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
