new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
