1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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