i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
