we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
