some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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