I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize