I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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