Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I need to align my fucking chakras
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
