she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize