if only i could text you this smell
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
