break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
