If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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