You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she told me i tasted like america
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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