Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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