Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize