Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
