Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Randomize
