Your tits are I can't wait for
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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