That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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