Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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