i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
