so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
