"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
