She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
