I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
