I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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