I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
