Who wears a wallet chain?!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize