i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
